


Cartman's Calling

by Sugarino



Series: Expanded Universe [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Crossdressing, Crossover, Disney, Disney World & Disneyland, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Romance, Stealth Crossover, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 14:03:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17530073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugarino/pseuds/Sugarino
Summary: Surrounded by his friends. All of them better looking than him, especially Butters. Just once he wishes he could let down his walls and be the person he is inside and dress how he wants instead of constantly causing trouble for his friends.





	Cartman's Calling

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Beauty and the Beast.Eventually crosses over with SW.

Snow, having fell mainly the night before, coated the grass, streets, alleys, and driveways of the quiet town of South Park, Colorado.  The morning echo of warming car engines, distant planes, and the few remaining birds, contrasted with the quiet still of the innumerable bedrooms, still containing many of the townsfolk.  One bedroom in particular separated itself from others. The dark, if only slightly quiet bedroom of Eric Cartman. The troubled youth was deep in sleep, only to be woken by a nightmare. One of several this week had brought, tallying night number four.   
  
Though his effort at a peaceful sleep was ruined by the harsh advent of a nightmare, his spirit was yet undaunted.  Though some might consider otherwise, he was actually quite the hygienic young man when he wanted to be. Getting out of bed, though of course leaving the work of making it to his mother, he prepared for his day with a morning shower.  He preferred getting in the shower when the water had mere moments before turning warm, letting the full cold water of the near-frozen pipes hit him. “Ah, ah fuck it’s cold!” He yells, a solid three seconds before the cold becomes warm.  Letting out a sigh of relief, he begins to scrub himself and think about the nightmare he had. “Same one for nearly a whole fucking week!”   
  
Getting out of the shower, he took a moment to wipe his hand against the mirror, letting himself take in a look.  “God, why do you have to be such a fatass, Eric...” He shakes his head to stop the self-deprecating thoughts, and begins to comb his moist hair.  With the past near-hour having been dedicated to remembering his nightmare, and grooming himself, he made his way downstairs to meet his mother. “Hey mom, what’s for breakfast?”  He says, sitting himself at the table like normal. “Chocolate waffles and bacon sandwiches!” She says, setting a pre-made plate before her portly son.   
  
“Aww sweet!  Thanks momma, you sure know how to make good waffles!”  Eric says, taking a chomp of his favored flavored waffles.  He sipped his milk as he checked his phone. He peruses the different direct message chats and group chats until he finds the most active group chat.  “RIP dude, but she left something in a will?” Kyle’s in response to something. Scrolling up, Cartman notices that it’s a post from Craig detailing how his grandmother had died and apparently left him something in the will, that he would find out about sometime today.   
  
Cartman finished up his breakfast and immediately began to head out for the day, he was to be meeting with Kenny today to get into the local theater to watch the new Rambo movie, free of charge.  “Kenny, where are you at?” Cartman sends to Kenny via text. “Right behind you!” Kenny says, scaring Cartman half to death, and forcing him to turn around quickly. “Jesus dude! Don’t scare me like th-” Cartman is interrupted from his own vocal thoughts, by his friend’s physical appearance.     
  
Kenny, for his part was hard to recognize by some who knew him.  But Cartman recognized immediately that Kenny was wearing a white faux fur coat, and an orange dress and stockings, even white high heel sandals to match the white coat.  His hair had also been styled effeminately, despite it’s comparatively shorter length. Cartman was taken aback, but responded with a frown and furrowed brow behind a red face.   
  
“Kenny!  What did I tell you about crossdressing around me in public!”  Cartman shouts, though not without a slight crack in his voice.  “Relax silly!” Kenny says, sticking out his tongue and getting close to Cartman.  “We’re supposed to be wearing disguises, remember?” Kenny says, turning his head to the side a little, a cute move that made Cartman even more flustered.  “Oh… well I forgot mine. Would’ve been like, a super cool Jamed Bond suit, and with like a laser watch and stuff...” Cartman says, imagining himself as a badass spy for a moment.  “Heh, you would’ve looked sharp in a suit! But come on, I think if we throw this on the floor in front of the ticket booth, we can get in!” Kenny says, brandishing a couple of playboy magazines.   
  
“Oooh sweet!  That teenager at the booth won’t even notice us slip on in when he sees Ms. July here.”  Cartman says before letting out a chuckle at Kenny’s plan. Getting past the front was the easy part, making it to the inside, the ticket master was a teenage boy who was busy trying to hit on an adult woman, who was rebuffing him.  Cartman dropped one playboy open onto the ground. The teen then moved his eyes immediately to the floor.   
  
“Bewbs?!”  He exclaims, pushing past the two, and staring down at the page.  “Oh, ohhh bewbs!” He says, rubbing the front of his pants, allowing the chuckling youngsters to walk right in.  The two shared a few laughs, and order some drinks and popcorn before the movie. Furiously Fast: Reckoning. Sitting together, Cartman puts his hand on Kenny’s once while reaching for popcorn, the two giggle but Kenny takes a piece of popcorn and hand-feeds it to Cartman.  Ending the laughter, and beginning the large boy’s blush.   
  
The movie went on, but as the two friends watched their free movie, the group chat they were a part of kept a steady stream of updates.  By the time the pair got out of the movie, they checked their phones only to see that 73 messages were exchanged before they could get out.  “Holy shit!” Kenny says, reading up through the messages. “I know right? The fuck, dude? Craig’s rich as hell now, that dick!” Cartman says, reading where Craig essentially just made a fortune from his grandmother’s will.  The boys all texted each other in the chat now, discussing different things, Cartman asking if Craig was going to be needing a financial advisor, warning to avoid Jews. Kyle of course responded negatively to this, Stan asked if Craig was going to blow it all on making a zoo for dumb animals, which of course got a no, much to Stan’s approval.   
  
Finally Kenny asked if Tweek and Craig would be moving in together.  This warranted a big-think emoji from Tweek, to which Craig said, “Yeah, actually.”  And Tweek responded with two kiss emojis. Kenny asked one last thing, “Craig, it’s your money, and I’m glad for you… but you up to going to Disneyworld???”  Kenny seems to have asked the magic question, as without a second thought, Craig responded. “Oh God… yes!” The others responded mainly with emojis and praise.   
  
“Kenny that is a fucking awesome idea!”  Cartman says to Kenny, after turning to face him in the hallway of the theater.  “I know, it just came to me like-” Kenny was interrupted by another teen working for the theater.  “Hey! I don’t remember you two, ticket stubs. Now!” He says putting his hand out. Cartman responds, “Here’s mine!” Pulling out the magazine, open to a random page, the teen is made wide-eyed.  “B-bewbs the size of bean bag chairs!” He snatches the magazine out of Cartman’s hand, and runs to the restroom.   
  
“Fucking moron… come on Kenny, let’s call a meeting in the basement for a trip to legendary land… of Florida!”  Cartman says, grabbing Kenny’s hand and running to the exit. As they run out, Kenny trips and falls on Carman who ends up on his belly with Kenny on his back.  “Ouch geez ugh, sorry Eric...” Kenny says, to which a face-down Cartman replies, “I’m not mad about the fall, I mean oww, but dude… your boner is on my back!” Kenny didn’t even notice his erection and embarassedly gets up and hides it.   
  
“S-sorry Eric...”  Kenny says, pushing his legs together and rubbing the back of his head.  Cartman was successful in hiding his own boner by sheer luck of positioning.  The meeting is called in Cartman’s basement, and after the boys all arrive, they begin their discussion on what to do.   
  
A few days pass after the meeting, and it’s nearing the end of the week.  Cartman sits in his room, as his mother is entertaining a few neighborhood guests.  “SETI today confirms, strange noises heard over the SETINET were from approximately six lightyears ago.  Speculation that the noises are signals are not being ruled out at the moment, but the current theory is that a solar storm of some kind is responsible.  In other news, riots today broke out in-” The newscast is muted by Cartman, who is more annoyed by the noise at the moment than it’s worth.   
  
On his computer, Cartman is busy reading about accidents at Disneyworld, and surfing conspiracy sites for secrets about the location, a tough prospect, if Cartman wasn’t an avid ‘darknet’ user.  Cartman busies himself reading about supposed hidden passageways in Disneyworld on tor-based imageboard. After checking a dm from Kenny he was distracted from his interest and finally got up. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a key to unlock the bottom drawer.   
  
“Come on fatboy… you aren’t good enough for this.”  He says, before shaking his head and unlocking the drawer.  He pulls out some girl’s clothes, panties, a bra, and long socks.  He remembers to lock his door before getting undressed and slowly putting on the girl’s clothes.  He didn’t know what Kenny saw so appealing about this. Sure he’d ordered them on Amazon and made sure to stretch them a bit before putting them on.  But what was really so good about them?   
  
What was good about feeling the soft fabric against his legs and privates?  What felt good about seeing his breasts covered in a way that didn’t look too weird, at least to him?  What could be good about his penis hardening in his panties, or looking in the mirror and feeling like he’s not as ugly?  Cartman smiled, the smile turned to a frown as the good and bad feelings shifted back and forth in his mind. He felt like crying, and looking away from himself, but when he laid his hands against his face, he felt determination.   
  
“You can be beautiful too, goddamn it!”  He says to himself, shutting his eyes before he can cry.  He hears a knock at the door and he quickly pulls his pants up and puts on his shirt.  “Y-yeah?” Cartman says, hoping it’s just his mom with dinner. “Honey, mommy’s going to be going out for drinks with Mr. and Mrs. Kovic, I heated up a pizza in the oven for you.  Love you sweetie!” She says, before Cartman responds back, “Geez mom fine! ...love you too!” Cartman loves his mother, but he feels like she can’t think he’s too sentimental, lest she start thinking him weak.   
  
Cartman waits to hear the door shut downstairs before he slowly disrobes again.  Looking at himself in the mirror, he pulls out some makeup and puts it on, knowing how to apply it just right.  Cartman pops his lips after applying the lipstick. “Pizza time Erica!” Cartman says before heading downstairs for pizza, in nothing but underwear, bra, and socks.   
  
A few days pass, and it’s the morning of the trip to Disneyworld.  Cartman made sure to not tell his mom until last minute that he’d be leaving for a week, and being the pushover she is, she said to just make sure to watch out for bears at the cabin, and gave him a hug.  He’d already pre-packed his bags, and had his plane ticket. It wasn’t even daylight yet, but he was ready. He wore his girl’s clothes on, underneath his regular winter clothing. After witnessing Kenny’s picture of what he’d be wearing, his confidence slipped by far.   
  
He had to admit, Kenny was beautiful in his clothes, but when Butters arrived at the bus stop, it was breath-taking.  For a long time, Eric had harbored a crush on, well several of his friends, but Butters had a special rank among them.  The naive nature, the sparkling moments of clarity, and now, how much more beautiful he is. But he couldn’t let Butters know this, he couldn’t let Butters know his feelings, even the dark ones about how inferior he feels compared to his thin, girlish friends.   
  
The bus arrived and he looked out the window at the head-light illuminated snow, both covering grass and trees in the pre-sunrise environs.  “I’m telling you fellas, I’m ready for a little sun and fun!” Butters says, with the others, who weren’t asleep, agreeing. “Gonna get a little sun on your big buns?”  Kenny asks, winking and sticking out his tongue at the green-dressed boy.   
  
“Whoa!  If it’s warm enough maybe I will!”  Butters says, making Cartman have to press his legs together a little, Butters’ cute voice was too much with the face he made at the same time.  “Come on dudes, all this talk about buns is making me hungry!” Cartman says, totally anticipating Kyle to make a snappy remark, only to see he’s asleep.  “I’d think you’d be thirsty if you saw our buns, big boy~” Kenny says to Cartman, putting a finger on his chest. “Bad Kenny, bad, bad Kenny!” Cartman says, actually too amused to be mad, and playfully swats at his friend.  Soon after the little exchange, they arrive at their destination, the airport. The flight was smooth, the landing soft, and the ride to the hotel room full of levity. “My friends, this is going to be the first day of the rest of our lives...” Cartman said, as the minibus pulled up to their destination.   
  
The boys all decided to pair up for naps, save Kenny, who had business to take care of, though Cartman was convinced he was hiding something.  When pairing up, Kyle and Stan got in a bed for a nap, Tweek and Craig obviously got their nap on together. Butters and Cartman ended up together, facing one another.  Cartman could tell that Butters wanted to reach out and touch him, and much as he wanted to oblige, he couldn’t let his secret out.   
  
“Please don’t let him scoot close, please don’t let him scoot close.”  Cartman said in his mind, hoping that Butters didn’t come close, and he didn’t, to both the relief, and sadness of Cartman.  The time finally came for everyone to head out into the park, but the decision was made to pair up, something Cartman worried about because of two reasons.  One, it made him look so much worse, in his mind, to be paired with Butters, and two, he was afraid his bra might show up on a ride camera. He relented to Butters’ wanting to follow him finally.   
  
The two had a little to eat, Butters with his pretzel and Cartman with his hotdog.  Butters wiped the mustard off Cartman’s face, and after a joke made Butters laugh hard, Cartman noticed Butters was leaning in.  Cartman wanted badly to lean in to what would have been the kiss of the year for him. But he couldn’t bring himself to let it happen.  He leaned back to stop it, and then felt horrible for it.   
  
Following this, a slight incident occurred, where Cartman felt necessary to enforce his authoritay on Kenny, who was busy being a big stupid princess in a magical, pretty float.  “Why can’t I be the princess?” Cartman asks in his mind, before he and Butters go on to have a wonderful day. He was right to worry though, on a couple of rides, his bra showed, luckily, Butters let him keep all the pictures involved, without looking at them, saying, “Well my parents’ll probably skin me alive when I get back so, might as well keep em somewhere they won’t get ripped up!”  This made Cartman appreciate his mom even more.   
  
The day ground down to night, and the two found themselves together in a special place. “It sure is real pretty here at night, huh Cartman?”  Butters asked Cartman while moving closer “Sure is, even if princess stuff is kinda gay, that’s one pimp looking castle.” Cartman said, trying to avoid it sounding awkward. Butters giggles lightly, and for a moment Cartman thinks he failed.   
  
Butters kept getting closer, causing Cartman to fear his secret from coming out, and from looking awkward.  Eric was trying to think of something to say, but Butters put his hand on Cartman’s shoulder. “Why are ya avoiding me?  Am I actually gross or weirdin’ you out the way I’m dressed?” Butters asked, causing Cartman to go into near-panic mode.  “No! No that’s… not it.” Cartman grasps Butters’ hand as it lay on his shoulder “You look awesome, you’re very pretty. But that’s just it Butters.  Especially here, out around so many people, I try to pretend my weight doesn’t bother me.” Cartman says, trying to find the words. “It’s my fault, but, it’s just so hard to hold back when I’m just so damned anxious all the time about everything.”   
  
Butters got even closer, Cartman could almost smell Butters’ intoxicating hair. “But why’s that botherin’ ya today?  Have you seen all these big dudes and ladies and foreigners? I saw a Mexican gal take up a whole coaster car herself!”  Cartman couldn’t contain his laughter, proving once again that Butters had a sense of humor others lacked.   
  
“Thanks Butters it’s just…  You and Kenny are beauties. Everything about your form, your figure.  I’m doomed to look the worst...You guys, girls, whatever you want to be called, you’re the beauties, and I’m the beast.  I’m a fat, ugly, stupid idiot. I see boys and girls alike look at you like a fat kid looks at cake… like I look at cake.”    
  
Cartman could feel a pair of tears streaming down his cheeks, though he tried hard to hold back any more.  Butters at first looked concerned, then deeply emotional. Cartman saw it coming but let it happen, when Butters wrapped his arms around his chest, clearly holding back tears as well.  “You listen t’me, you’re not a beast, you’re not ugly. You’re my best friend, and I won’t let you hurt because you think you’re ugly. I always thought it was fun to feel you. You’re so soft, and like the time we had to huddle together for warmth, you were like a great ol’ fluffy pillow.”     
  
Butters wasn’t finished, “I can’t speak for the whole world now, but ain’t right you puttin’ yourself down.  You’re awesome Eric, and I think you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” Cartman couldn’t hold back the churning in his chest, his soul.  He moved closer to Butters, an action reciprocated. Mere seconds felt like hours to Cartman, who felt Butters’ own pressed against his. The deeply satisfying emotional sensation that came with this was enough for Cartman to want it to last forever.  Far in the distance, a firework lit up the softly darkened sky. Looking in the distance after parting the kiss, the two hold each other and stare out.   
  
“Strange how much beauty is in this world, when you just stop to take the time to appreciate it.”  Cartman says, before looking back at Butters. “I can see it right now even.” Butters says while looking in Cartman’s eyes.  Making the boy blush again, for probably the fifteenth time that day. Before long, all the boys headed back to the hotel and their high spirits were met with something unexpected.  The news that it seemed like aliens, real aliens this time, had been signals from a few light years away, and were getting closer.   
  
Cartman was deeply concerned with this bit of knowledge, and joining the boys on the balcony, the group discussed it.  Butters was holding Cartman’s hand, and after a moment of admiration, they joined in the speculation. “I bet it’s some robot ship coming this way to take pictures.”  Stan says. “Dude that’s fucking lame! Obviously it’s a scouting and first contact mission.” Cartman says, which earns a snap from Kyle. “That’s bullshit, I bet it’s some kind of alien warship.”  Hearing this Tweek started to panic. “Holy shit they are going to come for us and all humanity will perish!”   
  
Rubbing his temples, Craig puts his arms around Tweek, “No, no pumpkin, even if it is a warship, that doesn’t mean they are coming to kill us.  What if it’s them seeking an alliance against other aliens?” Tweek calmed down hearing this, “Oh yeah… maybe they are peaceful to us?” Kenny threw in his two cents, “Maybe they are alien sex robots coming here to scout the world for humans worthy of their vast pleasure moons?”  Kyle raised his hand to make a point then stopped to think about it.   
“Y’know fellas, they could even just be other humans, cept from far off!”  The others boys started laughing at the idea, “Why would they come here, we don’t even have a single space yacht yet!”  Stan says, even making Butters giggle a little. “Yeah, ya’ll are right, that is a little ridiculous.” The boys go to turn in for the night, and once again it comes to pairing up, with the boys agreeing to take showers in the morning due to how late it is.   
  
When it comes down to it, Kenny would be the odd one out, so he lays down behind Cartman, “Hey big boy, mind if I perch here?”  The feeling of Kenny’s hands on his back makes him nervous and he scoots forward, towards Butters. “Damn it, there’s no room on the couch?”  Cartman asks, to which Kenny makes a pouting face and whispers, “But I’d be so lonely… Why, planning on asking Butters for a handy or something?”   
  
Eric got flustered quick, and Butters blushed and giggled.  “No, stupid! I’m going to go to sleep because I’ve got cool plans tomorrow!”  Cartman says, making Kenny move to face him. “Listen here big boy, don’t be embarrassed, you know sex is what it is.  You wanna try it?” Kenny says, looking seriously at Cartman. This illicits an even stronger reddening on Eric’s face.  “I wha- No!” Eric looks indignant about his wish to avoid sex with Kenny, though deep down it was more about the fact he still was wearing women’s clothing, more than how much he wanted his friend.   
  
Kenny bemusedly laughs, “You should have seen the look on your face!  Ohhh it was cute!” Butters nods in agreement and Cartman responds with a low growl.  “I’m gonna go to the couch then!” Both Butters and Kenny asked Cartman to stay. And finally he laid back down and they both snuggled up to him.  It was awkward, but it was also sweet, to feel his friends hugging onto him. He had a boner, but there was an odd comfort in him knowing, fairly clearly, that he wasn’t the only one.   
  
Contrary to this thoughts, they actually both went to sleep fairly quickly, instead of molesting him.  Eventually he too fell asleep. Waking up, the boys all decided to order breakfast from downstairs. It wasn’t too early, but it was too early for them to want to head out.  “Come on guys, what are we going to do today?” Craig asks, while waiting on the room service line, unsurprisingly being put on hold. “Fellas, I’ll be honest, well all o’ this talk about aliens, and space, well… I really wanna go to EPCOT now!”  Butters says.   
  
Surprisingly, none disagreed, finding the prospects of doing such quite entertaining.  And so it was, after breakfast and showers, that the boys would set out on their journey for EPCOT that day.  But there lay another agenda at hand, Cartman was going to suggest the same thing, mainly because the site he saw the conspiracies on stated that EPCOT had a series of secret areas, and tunnels, some known only to high-ranking employees.  Cartman knew that deep within the belly of the unassuming theme park, there were things that needed to be discovered, if he were to sleep good when he returned home.   
  
Cartman could remember his dreams, and remember that somehow, in the coming days, everything would change, if he could trust his own dreams, and nightmares.  The only problem now, was what he would do if the others got curious as to where he would be going if he went alone. He determined he’d have to go with one of his friends.  Tweek and Craig were off-limits by default. Stan was likely to text everyone what the plan was. Kyle was a Jew, but more importantly, he was a moral crusader of a Jew, so breaking and entering would be forbidden.   
  
The only remaining choices were Kenny or Butters, on the one hand, Kenny seemed to have some sort of ‘in’ with the park, and could be seen as innocent.  On the other hand, Butters was good at math, and if the conspiracy was right, there’d be a few mysterious times math was involved. But the ultimate cover for having one along is, he could claim he led them out for a make-out session and knew nothing.   
  
He would wait until the others were going their separate ways, and ask whichever boy remained.  This would prove to truly be worth the risk, and though Cartman had no idea how true that would turn out to be, he could feel that his purpose was greater than his life as it stood.  With determination in his heart, and the promise of greatness in his mind, he smiled at the coming challenge.


End file.
